The Last Blueberry

I'm pretty sure I found the last blueberry of the summer.... hahaha

There's a place near my house that has a lot of wild blueberries. I thought the season had completely passed, but I did find this one the other day! Summer is still holding on.... a little...

So since I am home sick today, I thought I would take some time to write a post. School has been EXHAUSTING and I have not had a chance to do almost anything for fun. I've been in bed before 8 most nights since school began, and before 7:30 several times. (Can you say Grandma???) Even though I am only doing a halfish day - I come in at 10:00, have a 50 minute studyhall, then have AP Stats and AP English - I'm still completely wiped. Between the physical and emotional transition of going back to school and my platelets hitting a new low (22,000, baby!), I guess it hit me harder than I was anticipating. I had to nix a two-day-per-week babysitting gig that I was trying because it was just too much.

I was hoping to start running again when the school year started, but I have not had the energy for it. I'm crossing my fingers that my body will acclimate a bit and I can run every morning before I go to school... we'll see, though. If my platelets continue to decrease I may no longer be able to run - even the mere impact of that could cause internal bleeding.

It's good to be back in school...sort of....the first few days I was very happy. But the varnish I seemed to think was there has rubbed off, and now I'm just over-tired and realizing how long the school year is going to be. I am looking forward to AP English since English is my favorite and best subject, and I have a fantastic teacher, so that will keep me interested.... and I know I will learn and grow tremendously through this class, which is encouraging.

I think coming back to school is also hard because I am watching my friends and all my peers begin the college process. I would love with all my heart to go off to college next year (truthfully, I wish I could go now!) but I realize this is neither realistic nor smart. It's just hard to think about everyone entering a new, exciting, opportunity-filled chapter of their lives while I stay another semester or a year and finish up my credits. BUT one must do what is best for one's health. If I tried to finish up my credits and apply to schools this year, I don't think my endeavors would be successful. And I don't need the downturn that would bring me healthwise nor the emotional rollercoaster of it all. I've been on that roller coaster before, and it ain't fun.....

All right; enough of my grousing.

On a more positive note, I have been completely taking advantage of the beauty outside my window.... I take a walk each day before school, when I return from school, and sometimes right before or after dinner. I would probably be taking walks in the dark, too, if I was up later than 7:15....haha. On Saturday, I took literally 5 walks. I would come back, do some stuff, and want to go back outside in the sun and fresh air! My favorite song as of late has been Home (thanks, Carolyn!).... it's very sweet and catchy. The music video is happy-making, too:

The solitude of a walk is so.... ideal. And the relaxation is much needed. I just grab the dog, pop my headphones in and go. It's not so much for the exercise as it is for the freedom. Sometimes I will lay down in a sunny patch on the wooded path between my road a nd the adjacent road and close my eyes, letting the warmth soften the tension in my body and clear air run through my lungs. There is something very grounding (no pun intended!) about laying on the earth, too... having roots and rocks push into your back doesn't sound like a very nice way to rest, but I find it comforting somehow...

Also, a couple things I'm noodling around.... possibly beginning some fiddle lessons if I can handle it! I haven't talked with my parents about it too much, but it's something that has crossed my mind before, and yesterday my teacher brought it up, too. I miss fiddling/violin like CRAZY but don't have the emotional or physical stamina to handle the whole classical thing right now.... fiddling is perfect because it is so open and FREE  (seeing a theme here....) and makes me happy, and I need those things in my life.

I'm also thinking about buying a new camera lens!!! I have a 35mm prime f/1.8 lens, which I love, but I have been thinking that a 50mm prime f/1.8 might be good, too... I like the look of pictures taking with a 50mm a little better. However, since the two are so similar, I'm not sure if it would be smart to invest in a 50mm lens, too. Gotta sleep on it a bit....

Well, I am feeling sleepy and think a nap might be in store, and have written a novel that mostly contains me complaining, so imma wrap dis up, yo  (I'm so hood....). Here are a few pictures from my walk a few days ago.... adios!

 

There's a family on the road next to me that has a HA-YUGE garden, and this yellow-clad owl is perched in front of the electric fence.... it makes me so happy! haha

Reflection...treetops...water...some of my favorite things to photograph.